My significant other thinks Masonry is good, that it's honorable and ancient and that it's a type pf greek frat for old men. I'm working to convince otherwise on the last point.
I can relate brother. It is strange to bring others into the lodge for an event...For our officer installation dinner, we had a bother sit at our table who DID NOT STOP TALKING ALL NIGHT. He had something to say about everything, and of course, most of it was just him talking to hear himself talk. Of course, my wife, family and friends, this being their first experience at the lodge with other masons and knowing little of the fraternity, welllll it just didnt make us look good. I didnt really have a chance to introduce anyone to the other officers , because I couldnt leave my guests alone with the chatterbox.
She still has yet to really meet the other officers, but that is going to change in two weeks when most of them come to the disco party we're throwing at the house.
my wife reminded this past wednesday, to be carefull when i go out.... i had totally forgotten the destination in question was installation practice! i am being installed as senior deacon this coming wednesday... most of the year its "my thing", but when i feel, or tell her how i feel about masonry, she gets a dumb grinning look on her face, and says she's proud of me. dunno what for, but hey, its better than getting yelled at!
Not married yet, will be in 5 months (May 17) but I started dating my fiancee right after I joined the Masons. She doesn't really know me as being any other way.
It's kinda odd though. When I was only in BL she felt somewhat as if she was given a backseat to our life (as much time as I spent away learning the catechisms with my coach) but since I joined the Scottish Rite she is more supportive. Our mutual friendships with others have increase and she approves of these friends, my cursing like a sailor days are coming to an end for the most part and being more active and involved gives she and I more conversational topics, plus she gets involved too when I go to the lodge to clean or work on the website or whatever.
Once we are married she is looking at joining OES.
All in all though she is proud of it. In fact she and her family (parents and sister) talked me into wearing my McLeod kilt for our wedding. I went further and now own the Masonic Kilt of Scotland attire with custom sporran, custom sporran chain, etc and am wearing that. My wedding ring is a custom SR ring with our initials, the date I proposed to her, and the initials V.J.M.N.S. in it.
Congrats on you upcoming wedding Kyle. You finance sounds like a great catch.
It's funny my wife asked my last night why we don't hang out with more couples and I reminder her how many times I asked her to attend a lodge function where she could meet all the wives. What better way to get to know the brothers wives and make new friends.
May be worthwhile to just grab a couple brothers and their wives and go out to dinner. Corey went with me to a (family and friends invited) event at the SR one night. The prior lodge meeting several brothers stood up including the VM and mentioned that brothers could bring anyone they wanted to dinner and the event. My fiancee was the ONLY friend/family member of over 50 brothers attending to show up. It was really embarrassing to her and hopefully to the brothers who touted bringing someone and didnt themselves. She's a bit hesitant to come to the dinners and events now, so I dont blame your wife in the least, she may feel that is what could happen, and then again, she may just feel out of place, you know all these people and she doesnt. So, Corey and I go out with a brother or two and their spouses from time to time just for dinner or to meet at the temple and get work done. That way if we have another event she'll be more inclined to show up and maybe even call the wives that she knows and see if they will come too.
A few months ago, our Conn newsletter did an article on what wives / SOs see their husbands / partners get out of Masonry. I submitted a few paragraphs of my own, and even asked around - interviewing for the article, as it were.
Here is a link to the PDF of that issue. It's about 7mb.
My own wife suggested that I join because I work a lot and she thought I needed something to do. My friend, having been a member for several years, kept mentioning that I'd really enjoy it.
You know, I'm kind of busy with work and a young child. How much time would I have to put into this?
"Oh, not much. One, maybe two nights a month, if that."
So, I joined. A few months later, I'm sitting in a tux as the Senior Steward, and 4 years later I'm installed as WM. And now I'm the District Grand Lecturer. One or two nights a month? My wife is going to want a little chat with him soon...
hey, they do say that you get out of it what you put into it. lol. Does your lodge do a ladies' night or wives night? May be worth having one to show that they are appreciated.
Our BL does for Wives night the same as for widows' night. They pass the blue slipper pin and explain the meaning. It helps the women understand masonry and the fraternity a bit more. Remember that pin was giving to any woman traveling (daughters, wives, sisters, mothers, etc) not just the widows.
My wife was a Mason before I was. Well, not quite, but practically. Her dad was active in York, both parents in OES, brother a Mason, sister in OES, past Jobbie Queen, the whole kazootie. She got into OES again a few years after we married, and dragged me into the Masons with her. That was before my hearing loss had gotten critical, and I was a joiner anyway, so it really didn't take much cajoling. She also urged me to join AASR. But eventually I started joining research lodges & societies, and now she bounces back and forth between urging me to join OES, and complaining about how many other organizations I pay dues to.
As for coming out to lodge, well, between her father, brother, and now husband, she's picked up enough random pieces that she probably knows the rituals better than I do. And she likes coming out with me to hear the lectures whenever she can, even when she's the only wife there, though there are usually 2 or 3 others, as well.
Cory Sigler
created this social network on Ning. 